


To Your Heart, With Love

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Modern AU, Slow Build, i mean sorta they arent actually at college so, theyre just in college
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 20:48:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2442656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't what Jean expected, not by a long shot, but maybe - just maybe - it was what he needed.</p><p>-</p><p>Eren and Jean postpone their senior year of college and decide to hike the Appalachian Trail together.</p><p>
  <strong>indefinite hiatus</strong>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Your Heart, With Love

**Author's Note:**

> okay okay ive had this idea for a while now but i just got the chance to start writing and im super excited so i hope u enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it!! buT before we actually get to the fic i have a couple announcements and junk to make so bear with me for a sec here pls
> 
> first of all, this fic marks the debut of my first ever beta!!! HUGE huge thank you to [ak](http://spookymikoshibabies.tumblr.com) for all the wonderful help and support they've given me with this fic and all my others! luv u bb!!
> 
> also, keep an eye out for updates to owob and stardust sometime in the next week or so, and probably the next chapter or two of how not to get a boyfriend after that! ive also gotten back into a regular writing habit so i'll probably be cranking out fics a lot less sporadically than ive done before, but don't expect an every day update sort of thing! im still in school and juggling ap classes and marching band on top of trying to get an actual writing career (that isn't based in fanfiction) at least in the works, so ive got a pretty full schedule going on! i'll definitely make time to update regularly enough, though, i really do love writing for you guys and all the comments i get make me so happy!
> 
> anyway thats probably enough of me talking, go read the fic! i hope you like it, kudos and comments are always appreciated! c:

“Wake up, asshat, we’re gonna miss our flight.”

Jean blinked hazily, the hanging fan above him appearing as nothing more than a brown blur against the beige fuzz of the ceiling. He tried to remember turning off his alarm; he was sure he had set it but he didn’t remember waking up to it earlier that morning. “Nghhh...what time is it?” he asked, tiredly propping himself up on Eren’s couch (he had unceremoniously claimed it as his own for the night).

“Seven in the morning, and I’m making breakfast, so get up.” Eren stood in front of him, one hip cocked and spatula in hand. Almost as an afterthought, he added, “And take a shower, you fucking reek.”

Jean groaned, trying to think of a time he had ever hated Eren more (he had set his alarm for ten, their flight wasn’t even until two in the afternoon, shut the fuck up Eren) and failing miserably. Still, he knew he would never be able to get back to sleep, so he swung his legs over until he could get up and plod tiredly to Eren’s bathroom to wash himself.

The shower was a blessing, and Jean sighed hugely as he stepped into the steaming water. Tipping his head back, he stood still under the spray for a few minutes, letting it gradually bring his senses back into focus. He let it run over his face, closing his eyes tightly and relishing the feeling of the warm water on his cool skin. It was still cold in Eren’s apartment, partly because it was always cold in March but mostly because Eren couldn’t be bothered to fix his fucking space heater in the whole year and a half it had been broken. Jean usually didn’t care - he didn’t stay at Eren’s apartment much anyway - but he found himself cursing Eren’s entire existence at times like these. Honestly, he didn’t know why they hadn’t just stayed at his - much nicer - apartment in the first place.

As Jean began to wash his hair with Eren’s almost offensively cheap shampoo, he began to smell the faint traces of bacon from the kitchen. He grinned, subconsciously rushing through his routine of ‘lather, rinse, repeat’ and consciously slowing himself down again once he realized what he was doing. Eren woke him up two hours early, like hell he wasn’t going to relax here for once. Eren could just wait for him. He sighed again, running his fingers through his hair to get the last traces of conditioner out. His stomach growled. Groaning , he leaned over and shut off the water and stepped out of the shower.

He hissed as the cold air hit him, the brisk early March chill somehow finding its way into the cramped bathroom of Eren’s apartment. He fumbled for the towel he had borrowed and wrapped it tightly around his shoulders to fend off the cold. Hobbling over to the window (which was cracked slightly open, what the _fuck_ Eren it's like thirty fucking degrees outside), he pulled it shut before shrugging off his towel to actually dry off.

Eren was still cooking when Jean walked out of the bathroom, jeans slung low on his hips and shirt half buttoned. His two-toned hair stuck up at awkward angles, and when Eren turned around he burst out laughing at the sight. “Shit man, it’s no wonder you can’t get a girlfriend. You look fucking _ridiculous_.” Jean huffed and glared at Eren, stalking to the fridge to pull out one of the beers Eren always had stocked. Noticing him, Eren leaned over and slapped his wrist with the handle of the spatula in his hand. “No drinking before the flight.”

“But-”

“Nope. Shush. Get some orange juice, it’s in the back.”

Jean pouted. “Is there pulp?”

“Thats the only way I drink it.” Eren smirked, and Jean pulled a face.

“What the fuck Eren, pulp is disgusting.”

“So are you, you’ll go perfectly together.”

“I’ll just get some milk.”

Eren laughed and dished their breakfast onto two separate plates, while Jean hunted around for the carton of milk Eren (probably) had. They sat down at Eren’s wobbly little two-person table, courtesy of the local thrift shop, and began to eat. Much as Jean hated to admit it, Eren’s cooking was probably the eighth wonder of the world. He couldn’t stand it. Still, he was never one to turn down a free - and delicious - meal, so he shoveled it into his mouth by the forkful with all the grace of a starving dog. Eren was no better, honestly, so Jean didn’t feel too bad about it. Between the two of them, they had finished the meal in about ten minutes.

Probably a new record, but Jean didn’t feel like timing it.

As Eren gathered up the few dishes they had, Jean padded back over to Eren’s couch and collapsed face-first onto it. He closed his eyes, ignoring the very suspicious-looking stain right next to his head, and mumbled a tired, “Wake me up when it’s actually time to leave, asshole,” to Eren. The other boy shot him a trademark one-finger salute from his place at the kitchen sink, but Jean was too gone to notice it. Fatigue was pulling him deeper into the ratty old couch, and it wasn’t long before he fell back asleep to the sound of running water in the kitchen.

-

Jean didn’t wake up until almost eleven, dozing lightly before cracking his eyes open to stare groggily at Eren, who was frantically unpacking and repacking their duffel bags. The confusion was enough to wake him up, and he sat up and rubbed at his eyes.

“Eren,” he said, his voice raspy, “What the fuck are you doing?”

Eren looked up from his work, pulling a shirt out of the duffel even as he met Jean’s eyes. “We need to pack lighter, we can’t take all this with us.”

“What do you mean, didn’t we take out all the stuff we didn’t need yesterday?”

“Yeah but like, do I really need to bring two pairs of pajama pants? One should be fine, right?”

“We’ve been over this, Eren. You double up if it gets cold-”

“And what about the bedrolls?” Eren interrupted. “Do we really need the bedrolls, or-”

“We need the bedrolls.”

“The-”

“Yes.” Jean sighed. “Look, we’ve cut our load down plenty. We should be fine. We’ll be stopping at a town around twice a week anyway, so don’t worry. We can mail anything we don’t need to the next town, so we aren’t carrying it around. Now relax, and help me repack these before Sasha and Connie come to pick us up.”

Eren sighed and relented, moving over so Jean had room to kneel down next to him. Together they repacked their supplies into the two bags.

“Are you sure we should do this?” Eren cut in after a considerable amount of silence. “I mean, we could just get our degrees now and then go, or get friends to come with us or something. You don’t need to put graduation off another year. You don’t have to drag me around.”

“Who says you’ll even talk to me after college? No one else even stuck around this long, the whole fucking gang split up,” Jean replied, a little somberly. “And the rest of them said they didn’t want to go anyway, we’d be stuck together no matter what. You can back out if you want, though.”

Eren paused for a moment, looking down at his hands. “Nah, I’ll go. Everyone says we should learn to get along better anyway.”

“We get along fine, don’t we? You make me amazing food and I call you rude names, how can we get any better than that?”

“You think my food is amazing?”

“Shut up and keep packing.”

Eren laughed, folding up the t-shirt in his hands and stuffing it into his bag. “Whatever you say, man.”

They packed in silence for a bit more, until there was a harsh rap on the wood of the front door of Eren’s apartment. It continued incessantly, until Eren yelled a terse “It’s open” from his seat in front of the couch.

Sasha and Connie’s arrival came in the form of Connie nearly kicking down the door, running in with his hands up in a perfect finger gun. Sasha was right on his heels with a shout of “Police! Hands up!,” pointing her finger gun around the room in a wide sweep before settling it on Jean.

“Eren!” Connie shouted as soon as he saw the other boy. “It’s the big day!”

Sasha skipped up to Jean and pinched his cheek. “The lovebirds are finally going on their honeymoon, huh babe?” She grinned over at Connie, who grinned back and lightly punched Eren in the shoulder.

“It’s about time,” he laughed.

“Come on guys, I’m not gay!” Jean butted in, cheeks reddening. “You know that!”

Connie winked at him. “The fact that you get so defensive about it is concrete proof that you aren’t comfortable with your sexuality.”

“Meaning,” Sasha continued, “You aren’t sure you’re straight.”

“Meaning you _could_ be gay,” Connie finished, the smile on his face even brighter than it had been before. “Or bi. Whatever floats your boat, right?”

Sasha cut in, her grin almost predatory. “Besides, you might not be gay, but you two _definitely_ fight like a married couple.”

Jean grimaced. “Sasha-”

Connie and Sasha held up their hands defensively and sighed in unison. (Seriously, they did almost everything in sync. It was pretty fucking creepy. If having a girlfriend did that to you, Jean wasn’t even sure he wanted one.) “Oh well,” Sasha grumbled. “Guess all that hanging out with Eren didn’t teach you anything.”

“Hanging out with gay people doesn’t _make_ you gay.”

Sasha shrugged. “Whatever, man. Now, are we gonna drive you to the airport or not? It’s already almost noon.”

“Oh shit, it’s late,” Eren said, pulling his bag onto his shoulder and heading for the door. Jean did the same, followed up by Connie and Sasha, who were still chuckling quietly.

-

Jean groaned and stretched his legs again, pushing his feet out as far as they could go before hitting the seat in front of him. Eren sat to his right, slumbering quietly against the window of the plane. Jean looked for something, _anything_ , to occupy his time. The flight was only five hours and they didn’t show movies, so Jean was left almost hopelessly bored. His book was in his duffel, somewhere underneath him in the cargo hold of the plane. He didn’t really want to read it anyway, if he finished it here then he wouldn’t have anything to read for the first portion of their hike up the East Coast. He sighed loudly, earning him an annoyed glance from the woman across the aisle, and poked Eren in the shoulder. He twitched, shaking off Jean’s touch, and curled more into himself. Jean poked him again, harder. Eren looked up this time, eyes blinking owlishly, and mumbled a groggy “Huh?” in Jean’s general direction.

“I’m bored.”

Eren turned his face back into his jacket.“Go the fuck to sleep, Jean.”

“Can’t, I’m not tired.”

“You shouldn’t have slept in until eleven, then.”

“Erennn,” Jean whined, stretching out the other boy’s name until the woman across the aisle turned and shushed him. He ducked his head apologetically and lowered his voice to a whisper. “Eren, come _on_.”

Eren sighed and sat up, taking his jacket from where he had been using it as a pillow and throwing it at Jean. “What do you want?”

“Dunno,” Jean said. “Just talk to me.”

“We have like three hours left, man. Just go to sleep.”

“ _Eren_.”

Eren let out a long breath, closing his eyes. “Fine. Talk.”

Jean paused, not really sure what to do here (Honestly, he didn’t think he’d get this far). “What do you think we’ll see out there?”

“Dude, what is there to see? There’s gonna be trees. Like, a lot of trees. Maybe a river, I guess. It’s a hike man, it’s just nature.”

“Guess you’re right.”

“If you’re still worried that I don’t wanna be here, forget about it. I’m already on the plane, I can’t go back now.”

Jean relaxed visibly, even though he hadn’t known he was tense in the first place. “Yeah, I know.”

Eren looked over at him. “Hey asshole, you’re the one that wanted to talk, so say a little bit more than ‘yeah’ and ‘I guess.’”

“Sorry, sorry, I just didn’t think you’d actually talk to me.”

“Why not?”

“I dunno, you’re kind of a huge dick, so-”

“I am _not_ a huge dick,” Eren whined. “If anything, you’re the huge dick for waking me up.”

“Well, you woke me up at seven in the fucking morning, sorry!”

“I made you breakfast!”

“Then unpacked all our bags as soon as I went back to sleep!”

Eren opened his mouth to say more, but stopped himself suddenly. “Shit, Sasha was right.”

“What?”

“We _do_ argue like a married couple.”

Jean groaned, exasperation apparent. “Oh come on, not you too.”

“No no, I’m serious. Oh man, what the fuck, this is _gross_. What if people think we actually _are_ married?”

He blanched at that thought. “No. Nope, nope, you shut the fuck up right now. I changed my mind, go back to sleep. You’re crazy. Besides, they wouldn’t. No rings.”

“Ugh, this is so gross. What if people mistake us for _boyfriends_?”

“Why is it bothering you anyway, you’re gay!”

“Well yeah, but I’d never go for someone with a face as ugly as yours! I can’t let people think I have low standards!”

“What? I’ll have you know-” Jean was cut off as the woman across the aisle shushed them again, more irritated this time. He let the topic drop, opting to shove Eren’s jacket back in his face rather than continue the conversation. “Just go back to sleep,” he whispered, slipping his headphones in and turning on some soft music.

-

Armin and Marco were waiting for them when they touched down in Georgia, smiles on their faces and cameras in hand. Eren charged Armin, picking him up in a whirlwind of a hug that left Jean wondering if Armin had even come west a few months before. Watching it, he’d think that they were long-lost twins, reuniting after a lifetime apart (and it probably wasn’t that far off the mark, if you asked either one of them). Jean wondered how Eren even managed without his other two-thirds. Out of the inseparable trio, Eren was the only one who had remained on the west coast, moving up to Washington State with Jean, Connie, and Sasha. Marco and Armin had both moved out to Florida, and Mikasa had followed Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt up to New York. None of the latter had visited since, busy being cooped up and cozy with their threesome-plus-one (it was more of an Annie and Mikasa meets Annie and Bertholdt and Reiner). Marco and Armin, though, took every chance they could get to visit their friends. Being the closest to Georgia, the task of picking Eren and Jean up had fallen to the two of them, and they didn’t mind it in the slightest.

Jean approached the other three leisurely, trying to act unmoved by his best friend standing in front of him, in the flesh. It didn’t work, of course, Marco had always been able to see right through Jean’s coolkid act. It was probably one of the main things that had drawn them together in the first place. Marco put down his camera - not before snapping a choice picture of the other boy with ruffled airplane hair and sleep-heavy eyes - and ran up to Jean, all but crushing him in a hug. He had filled out even more, if that was possible, since Jean had last seen him in January. He wasn’t even two inches taller than Jean, they could easily look each other in the eye, but Marco’s shoulders were broad and tanned where Jean’s were slim and pale, and Marco had a sort of _presence_ about him that Jean could only ever hope for. Jean was struck with the realization of just how much he had _missed_ Marco, and he wrapped his arms around his best friend in a return hug. He could feel Marco smiling into his shoulder, and he smiled back. They broke apart after a little while, and Jean waved a hello to Armin while Eren and Marco bumped fists and began catching up. The four of them walked to the exit together, chatting excitedly.

It wasn’t exactly a tight fit in Marco’s little Prius, but it was good-naturedly loud as Eren began relaying every single moment of his and Jean’s time in Washington to Armin (he had heard it all already, late-night group Skype calls were a common occurrence between the four of them, but he humored Eren with a smile on his face). Jean sat up in the front seat with Marco, monopolizing the stereo and turning up the volume on his favorite song. Eren broke off his narrative to insult Jean’s taste in ‘hipster indie bullshit,’ to which Jean responded with a hearty, “Fuck you, Jaeger.” Marco and Armin laughed, Marco leaning over to ruffle Jean’s hair. They drove in high spirits, rolling back the sunroof as they cruised down the freeway towards the motel Jean and Eren had picked for the night.

It wasn’t exactly the best place, Jean noted as he and Eren tossed their bags down onto their respective beds, but it would do for one night. They were taking a shuttle out to the foot of the trail in the morning anyway, they wouldn’t have much time to appreciate the not-quite-overwhelming mildew smell of the room. “I’m showering first,” Jean called out as he took off his shoes, but Eren was already racing to the single bathroom.

“Fuck you, you showered this morning,” he replied, pulling a face as he shut and locked the door behind him. Moments later, Jean heard the sound of running water. He sighed.

He pulled his toothbrush and pajama pants out of his duffel, setting them down on the bed and waiting for Eren to get out of the shower. His joints ached; he had never been good on planes in the first place and a five-hour flight with no breaks hadn’t done him any good. Groaning, he stretched his limbs out, hearing his spine pop satisfyingly. Eren was taking forever, but Jean guessed that was mostly his boredom dragging out the seconds. He debated yelling at Eren, but decided against it. He was too tired anyway, despite having gotten a couple hours of rest on the plane. It was only six, but he could feel his eyelids getting heavier and heavier as the single wall clock ticked on. When Eren finally stepped out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist and t-shirt in hand, Jean had already begun to doze off.

“Oi, horseface. Wake up, I’m done.” Eren snapped his shirt against the backs of Jean’s thighs, causing the other boy to jolt awake with a yelp.

“The fuck was that for?”

“Go take your shower, or I’m going out for food without you.”

Jean groaned and sat up, rubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands. “Fine, fine, I’m up.” He flipped Eren off with a glare, stalking towards the bathroom and locking the door behind him.

The lighting in the bathroom was dim and the water pressure was horrible, but Jean figured it was pretty decent in comparison to the rest of the motel room. He stripped while waiting for the water to adjust, fiddling with the knobs for a few moments before finally getting the shower to a temperature that wasn’t either the winters in Russia or the fires of hell. Finally, he stepped in with a contented sigh, even the subpar spray (it could hardly be called a spray honestly, it felt more like someone gently pissing on him - not that he would know what that felt like, what the fuck) coming as a blessing after the long flight. Through the sound of the shower, he could hear Eren getting dressed in the room outside. He had turned on some of his shit music - really, what the fuck did he even listen to? - and Jean could make out the faint sounds of the drums and the heavy bass. He made a mental note to give Eren shit later, choosing to ignore it for the time being. Turning his face back into the stream of water, he pulled the complimentary soap from its place on the shower rack and began to wash himself.

-

Eren, as Jean’s luck would have it, was absolute shit at ordering food.

Jean honestly didn’t know why he hadn’t known that before - they had been friends for almost eight years now, he had met Eren in their freshman year of high school - but now he wasn’t sure he should ever have found out. Eren sat across the table from him, humming contemplatively and staring at his menu, while the waiter stood off to the side, clearly irritated. Jean sighed. There wasn’t even that much to choose from, he had absolutely no idea how Eren could be so indecisive.

“Maybe I’ll-” Eren started, and the waiter perked up. “No, no, never mind.” The waiter huffed and slouched again, and Jean groaned loudly.

“You know what, just give him what I got,” he said. “Sorry about that.”

“But-” Eren began, but their server had already plucked the menu out of his hands. He turned to Jean, eyes pleading. “I don’t even _like_ mushrooms, Jean.”

“I’ll eat yours. You were taking too fucking long, it’s your fault.”

“I can’t help it, I’m not good at this,” he whined.

“Yeah, I can tell.”

Eren sighed and slumped back in his seat, glaring across the table at Jean. Really, he was such a child; Jean didn’t know why he still hung out with him. He was pretty much Jean’s only friend at their university, though - aside from Connie and Sasha, but they didn’t really count. You couldn’t hang out with them without someone else there as a buffer, unless you particularly felt like vomiting. They weren’t opposed to public displays of affection - at all - and they didn’t really care how uncomfortable they made people. Jean was pretty sure they had fucked while everyone else was sleeping once back in high school, when they had all piled into a single room at Annie’s family’s beach house one summer. If he was completely honest with himself, it was probably more than once. He fought back a shudder just thinking about it.

Eren kept up the dirty looks until their waiter returned with the food, at which point he promptly forgot all about his earlier complaints. He scooped the heap of mushrooms off of his plate and onto Jean’s, and began to eat. All this happened while Jean was still unrolling his knife and fork from where they were neatly seated inside the napkin, and Jean took a moment to just watch the sight in front of him.

It wasn’t that Eren was messy, not at all. In fact, his plate and face remained impeccably clean, even his food not budging from its neat placement. It was disappearing at a rapid, ever-growing pace though, Eren nearly inhaling his food every time he brought his fork up to his face. Jean wondered how he would ever manage making food for the other boy for the next few months. He figured he’d probably just make Eren cook.

Eren swallowed the massive portion in his mouth before talking. “The fuck you looking at?”

“Dude,” Jean said, awestruck. “How do you even do that?”

“Do what?” Eren asked. Somewhere in the space between words, he had shoveled another bite into his mouth and swallowed it. Jean gained a little bit more respect for him.

“That. Eating like that. What the fuck man, you’re a fucking machine.”

“Nah, you’re just slow.”

“Am not! You’re like, inhaling your food.”

“You haven’t even started.”

Jean started to say something, but realized Eren was at least partially right. Grumbling, he turned back to his plate, falling silent as he began to eat.

-

The sun had just begun to go down when they made their way back to the motel, but Jean was just about ready to pass out. He yawned as Eren slid the room key into its slot in the door, feeling more than a little drowsy after their meal.

“It’s like nine man, you can’t be _that_ tired,” Eren said as they stepped into the room.

“Says you, asshole,” Jean shot back. “You run perfectly fine on like, a hour and a half of sleep. Normal human beings need more.”

“ _Boring_ human beings need more,” Eren replied with a grin. The words were directed at Jean’s back though; he was already pulling off his shirt and jeans to trade them out for pajamas. “You know, for someone who ‘isn’t gay,’ you sure don’t have a problem stripping in front of other guys.”

“Shut the fuck up Eren, you’ve already seen me naked anyway.” They had been on the volleyball team together back in high school, and they both knew there was no shame among teammates.

“Mmmmm, and don’t I miss it,” Eren teased.

“Don’t do that,” Jean replied with a tense laugh as he climbed into bed. Eren did the same, and the light was flicked off in a matter of minutes. Jean knew that the day ahead was huge, and he was asleep not long after.

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: the actual google document for this fic is titled 'what if a bear walked in on eren and jean having sex in the woods' and contains almost 1k words of ridiculous comments left to my beta (including this gem: 'i forgot how to spell began for like five minutes. i kept typing bagan. what the fuck is bagan' and this one: 'im trying to focus on writing this but its so hard when yo gabba gabba is playing on the screen right above my laptop').
> 
> fun fact #2: i sat down for about an hour and a half contemplating whether or not to actually keep that title for the fic.


End file.
